august 8th

     Today we had our first fetal echo at Cincinnati Childrens hospital . After they were done with the echo we into into a room for a consultation with a cardiologist. He gave us a picture of a normal heart and a picture of a heart  with DORV(double outlet right ventricle) with sub pulmonary VSD. He told us that was his diagnosis for Brooklyn. He went on to explain that this would require surgery within 1-3 days after delivery. Hearing this news was heart wrenching to us!! No words could come out of my mouth. I now knew that my baby girl would be going directly to children's CICU(cardiac intensive care unit) after she is delivered.
     After the echo consultation we had to go to the fetal care center where i receive my high risk pregnancy care to do a microarray sample, I checked in at the desk and turned to find a seat when Judy came around the corner and asked how the echo had gone. I just lost it, i was nothing but tears. Judy took Chris and I into a back room so we could let it all out and talk to her about what we had just learned at the fetal echo. She also gave us the tubes for the saliva sample for the micro array sample.
     We finished up with Judy and left the Dr.'s office yet again feeling saddened, overwhelmed, and completely lost like the other times we had an appointment and recieved more bad news. Over the next couple of days Chris and I moved out of the house we were renting with our 3 kids. My boys and i came to my mothers and Chris and his daughter went to his brother's house. We felt this was the only way to be able to save money for all of our expenses that we knew we would soon incur when Brooklyn arrives. It is so hard to live in two different houses, about 15 miles apart. It was hard to split the kids up too.  They all miss each other so much, and talk about when we can all be a family again and live together. Our hope is to all be back under the same roof by the time that Brooklyn is able to come home. Chris and I wish we could see each other everyday but some days that just isn't possible. We are leaning and relying on each other more than ever before. He has been my rock throughout this journey so far and I am so glad to have him by my side. My mom has also been extremely supportive throughout these past few weeks as well. I dont have a vehicle right now and rely on her van to get me to and from my Dr.'s appointments. She has went to work earyl and stayed late so I can get myself and the boys where we need to go. Since July 27, she has been helping in researching what we know is going on with Brooklyn and supporting Chris and I along the way.